A Nightmare to Hate

I hope I never dream nor live this. I feel a severe thud to the ground and open my eyes to see that I have returned to the abominated desert. I look around and see that I am stranded. I don't know how I have gotten there and if I will ever escape. I hear foot steps and turn around to see a group of tatted up pop-punkers. They have the X's on their hands which means the worst; straight-edge. One picks me up and says I have had head trauma and that it is okay now since I am in Arizona and will be staying there for the rest of my life. My body is inert and I cannot speak because my throat is too dry. The leader of the pack lifts me and says he is going to place me on the board of an MRI machine. They strap me on just in case my body is going to move again. Then the wingman comes in with some headphones with music that they believe will help my head recover; Journey, my all time hated band. My body is still inert, so I just sob uncontrollably as the straight edge pack wheels me and the machine across the desert. When they make it to Scottsdale, I am informed I will not ever be able to pursue my goals or be the person I want to be. I will dress how they want and I cannot go out and have fun on my own. I will be a straight edge cyborg for these criminals. When they take me out of the MRI board, they put me in a white outfit (so they can find me easily) and place a mask over my face so I cannot speak- ever. They also give me a Louis Vuitton purse so I will fit in with the culture. I cannot take the life that I have been forced into which has no escape. I find one escape and luckily Scottsdale is full of pools...

A Dream that I Want

I want to have a specific dream. It starts out with me riding a train in Europe winter of 1898. It is perfect winter weather and beautifully grey out. It is also eerie, which is necessary for my winters. I hear some clinks and screeching sounds and all of a sudden the bridge breaks and the train crashes. The conductor and all the passengers die. I squeeze out of a window empty handed. I am wearing a garment that matches the snow. It looks like a Chanel wedding dress. I walk through the forest and find a castle perched on top of a steep mountain and walk a path to its entrance. When I make it to the doorway it automatically opens for me which immediately indicates to me that I am in Transylvania. As I enter I hear a faint sound coming from upstairs and I follow it. As I near, the sound gets louder and louder until I finally reach the top and find Prefuse 73 eltronicing. It's quite cold and windy up there and at that point I believe that I am going to be forced into marrying Dracula (by Prefuse 73). A hiss noise comes from the balcony and so I run to it. The balcony holds a capacious, ancient cemetery. I hear the whispers and they are from the ground. The tombstones have all the names of my loved ones on there. Am I getting married to a diabolic individual in front of a cemetery that is held near and dear to my heart? The hissing whispers suddenly stop. A song I never heard before is playing with Prefuse 73 and it is loud, destructive, and impeccable. I run inside to find my deceased alive and breaking the furniture. There is no wedding. The white means honoring the death.

This item has no name.

I need some criticism on this painting. There's something missing that I can't figure out on my own.

Glow Job

Glow 2008 was in Santa Monica on July 18. Why didn't I know about it? And even worse, why didn't I think of that?! Then again, Glow was not the first to think of it since interactive light displays are very favorable at the moment, but either way they are so aesthetically pleasing and renders some kind of space world. Anyways, there is not much coverage on the exhibition- if fact, I had to find out the date and location of Glow 2008 through a tiny Wordpress.com blog. NOTCOT probably has the best, most visually descriptive displays of what Glow is all about. They also posted a couple of rad videos.

SPACE FASHION

If there is any fashion that would get my very distracted attention, it would furthermore be Space Fashion. It happened and now I have more focus than someone training for the Olympics. It only makes me say this; "Why in the idiocracy didn't I think of that?!?!"My favorite one is the science-figure black motorcycle getup.
Also, I viewed the American version of "Funny Games" (original was made in Austria via 1997 and directed by Michael Haneke) in which two psychopaths hold a family of three hostage and torture them. I won't distribute anymore details, but I suggest those who do not handle psychological, nihilistic to stray away from a film like this. I quite liked it. I must also add that there is one very draining segment in the movie and then all of a sudden the tortured father starts eating a loaf of bread while he tries to get in touch with 911. Personally, I would not be hungry after suffering what he has suffered, but people cope in different ways.

Circus Freak

Melanie Pullen

High Fashion Crime Scenes

All the Good Ones Are Gone

I'm a chick and I'm not even out of my teens yet, so god dammit I'm going to fantasize about one dreamboat. He's gone, as we all know, but that doesn't mean his memory doesn't elude us. River Phoenix, it seems, was manifested from a perfect dream I had in wonderland.



Lets face it, people who die young have this romanticism about them and their lives are kind of glorified. In reality, the kid was sick and lonely. He had a deep whole that he filled with drugs. He lived in secrets that would eventually kill him. It sucks in so many ways. It happens too often and there is nothing romantic about it.

He was perfect to me though.






River's last photoshoot, in 1993. Photographed by Michael Tighe.

Mask Invasion

I MUST USE THIS!